I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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