Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize