I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize