I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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