I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize