sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize