I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
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i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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