thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
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80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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