We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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