I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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