Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
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No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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