Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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