great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i can't believe i had my finger in that
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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