that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
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I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
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Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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