the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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