just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize