why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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