OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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