i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize