New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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