I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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