hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize