you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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