She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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