im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
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You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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