I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize