Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
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you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
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Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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