I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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