She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
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We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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