Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
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Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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