worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize