Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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