It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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