the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
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Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
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The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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