she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize