his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize