forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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