My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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