I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
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do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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