Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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