Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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