And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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