This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
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We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
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I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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