apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize