I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
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You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
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I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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