would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize