You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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