Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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