Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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