I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize